


Shadows, and How we Escape them

by emonightmare12



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Foster Care, Highschool AU, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mention: Murder, Mention:Abuse, Polyamory, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Soulmate AU, but not really, im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-01-06 08:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18385022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emonightmare12/pseuds/emonightmare12
Summary: Everyone knew about soulmates. You physically couldn’t escape knowing. Not when an odd bruise or paint splotch or doodle you know you didn’t put there showed up on your skin. Everyone was connected to a total stranger, against their will, by means of skin. So, why on gods green earth did Virgil seem to be the only person freaked out by this? As a kid your told to never speak to strangers, then your told that you’ll fall in love with one? Really? Who came up with that shit? Soulmates are, in Virgil’s expert opinion, a waste of time, meaningless and if anything? Utterly useless.Oh the fucking irony, because Virgil has 3.





	1. Im not okay (I promise.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall! Welcome to my poorly thought out 3AM writing inspired strongly by Hero_In_Heels's fic, and my old trash wattpad fanfic that needed some sprucing up.

Everyone knew about soulmates. You physically couldn’t escape knowing. Not when an odd bruise or paint splotch or doodle you know you didn’t put there showed up on your skin. Everyone was connected to a total stranger, against their will, by means of skin. So, why on gods green earth did Virgil seem to be the only person freaked out by this? As a kid your told to never speak to strangers, then your told that you’ll fall in love with one? Really? Who came up with that shit? Soulmates are, in Virgil’s expert opinion, a waste of time, meaningless and if anything? Utterly useless. He’d learned that plenty well from his parents, and his foster homes just reinforced it. He’d never bothered to look at his ‘soulmarks’, let alone make a conscious effort too. In fact, he just always eliminated the option by covering up as much skin as humanly possible. He was just fine on his own, and if it really got down to the nitty gritty, he’d just fuck someone up with all of his issues. So, for the sake of himself and his soulmate, he’d pretend he was soulmate less.  Even if it meant ending up in situations like this one. A loud whoop came from one of the jocks as he coughed

“Soul-less freak.” The red-head snarled.

“You know it.” He smirked. Another kick, this time to his ribs.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth smartass?”

“Can’t. Shes dead.” It held less fire then intended as the jock hauled him off the floor by his hoodie.

“Bet she offed herself cuz her son was soul-less, didn’t she?”

That was where he drew the line. They could talk shit about him all he wanted, but bring up his mom? He swung for the face, and the jock stumbled back, releasing his hoodie.

“What?” Virgil smirked “Not used to a little fight, pretty boy?” He swung again, aiming for the nose.

And then he heard it. Mr. Sanders. His most recent foster parents. Fucking ay.  “Virgil Knight! What in the hell do you think your doing?!”

He took two steps back, then bolted. There was a long dead-end hall to his right. Perfect. He ran as fast as his legs would take him, but the effort was fruitless. Sanders was to fast. He’d never been caught that fast. He felt arms wrap around his waist and lift him. He kicked and squirmed in attempt to get fee, but nothing. He felt the panic creeping in

“Virgil. Breathe. I'm not gonna hurt you kiddo.”

He took a single shaky breath, then another. Sanders set him down.

“C’mon. We can talk this out in the car yeah?”

He shook his head. “I brought my bike today, remember? Can we talk about it later?” By later he meant never. He seriously needed a cigarette.

“Okay kiddo. I’ll meet you at the house.”

Fan-fucking-tastic. There really was no avoiding this, was there?

 


	2. When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am utter author trash and someone needs to hit me with a slice of cheese immediately. I am uber excited to hit y'all with this next chapter

It was days like today where Virgil wished Thomas didnt live so close to the school. Perks of having a principal foster parent, he guessed. He really, truly, honest to god didnt want to go home, but ya'know...he's had his fair share of search partys. Being hunted down wasnt in the cards today. So, he pulled up, parked his bike, and made his way into the kitchen, where Thomas was standing.

"Hey kiddo."

He hummed in response. 

"You ready to talk?"

No. No he was not. But, really, he never was. So, he nodded.

"Who threw the first punch? And please, be honest?"

"Him. Somethin' bout me bein' a soul-less freak. Thought I was checkin' out his girlfriend. Twat." He mumbled.

"Oh...Another one of those? I thought that had stopped?"

"Thomas, its been happening since I was  _six._ Just because my foster parent is the big mean scary principal doesn't mean they are gonna stop, and your painfully naïve to belive as much." Virgil huffed, curling into his hoodie and slipping his hands into the pocket. 

Thomas looked slightly wounded, but he'd fostered enough kids to know it was a defence. "Your right. It is naïve, but also optimistic."

He thumbed over the lighter. "Im...Im what now?"

"Your right."

"Oh...I didnt...I mean.."

"Virge. I get it. I get that this shit is hard. That kids are dicks. But, I try and stay bright, because when we dont, things go downhill. We spiral. Its just human nature."

"But...its so  _pointless._ "

"But its not. You have to hope kiddo. Not every situation is the same. Not everything ends up bad."

" 'cept soulmates..." He mumbled under his breath. 

"Not even soulmates. Of course there are gonna be shitty pairings, because there are shitty people, but there also also good pairings and good people."

"And, ya'know, the occasional pair who murders one, then themselves." It held far less fire then he intended.

"Yes kiddo. There are those pairs too. Because nothing is 100%, but, nothing is 0% either. Its grey."

"Grey sucks."

"Yeah Virge. Grey sucks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to you all! Thank you for waiting, and I hope you stick around! This chaptres title is inspired by Bury a Friend by billie ellish! If you've never heard it, chickadee your missinin' the good shit. Feel free to leave me a comment (I friggin love em' I dont even have words.) Or, if your shy, feel free to leave a kudo! Everything helps inspire me to write more and more!


	3. Cuz the hardest part of this is losing you

At some point after his conversation with Thomas, Virgil ended up falling asleep on the couch. Thomas took the liberty of gently pulling Virgil’s hoodie off, breath catching when he noticed the brightly colored soul marks. It was impossible that Virgil had just developed them within the last few hours, and it was unheard of for them to develop after 6 or 7 years old. Why would Virgil put himself through that kind of torment if he truly had a soulmate? It didn’t add up, but he wouldn’t push. Virgil had his hurt, and as long as he told his therapist, he wouldn’t push. It would be the battle Thomas fought once Virgil came to him about it.

 

<><><> 

_It was Virgil’s 6 th birthday, and he was ecstatic. He’d just gotten home from school, where they had learned about soulmates. They talked about how they could be girls, which Virgil’s best friend Sam said was awsome. Virgil thought it was icky.  He’d told his mom as much on the car ride home. She’d just laughed and continued to drive. They made there way inside, and Virgil’s dad was standing at the table, with a large purple cake in front of him._

_“Surprise kiddo!!”_

_He giggled happily, and made himself comfy in his seat_

_“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, Happy birthday, Happy birthday to you!”_

_Virgil blew out the candles, whishing to meet his soulmate soon._

_The rest of the night was a blur. There was presents, and ballons and candy. Then there was shouting. Lots of shouting. Then screams. Loud, scary screams. He curled up in his closet. His mom would come get him. She always did. Then a bang. And crying. Then another bang. Virgil stayed in his closet. There was more shouting what felt like days later, but it was not his parents. A man in blue pulled the closet door open, and helped Virgil out. He wasn’t supposed to go. Mom was gonna come get him. Mom needed to come get him. Mom…Mom was on the floor? The men in blue had set a blanket over her body._

_“187 and 271 at P. Sherman. Looks to be about 6-ish? Was hidden in his closet, and clearly reluctant to leave. Get child services out here?”_

Virgil shot up, breathing panicked, and in a cold sweat. He immeadtly tugged his hoodie back on. Had he taken it off? When? He flinced at the sight of a bright red hear, a blue smiley, and a navy frowny face. He hated the accidental glances, but today, they brought him some sort of sad comfort. Comfort that shrouded him in heavy, anxious guilt. He wasn’t supposed to look. He’d never forgive himself if he looked for his own comfort, but I digress. The guilt outweighed the comfort the marks brought him, so he covered them quickly, praying Thomas hadn’t seen them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sosososososo sorry about how short this is? But writing and editing took me literally 5 hours and I had to human and shit.
> 
> If your feeling talkative, feel free to leave me a comment (I friggin love comments boos.) Or, if your shy, leave me a kudo! Or dont! Its your call. Thank you for reading Chapter 3 of Shadows, and How We Escape Them


	4. Sick of losing soulmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup! Heres a long chapter to make up for the last short one

Virgil was still mad at himself for his slip. His mother was probably rolling in her grave. But….they seemed so sweet. Like the kind of people he could spend time with. One more peak wouldn’t hurt anyone…right? He pulled up his sleve to see his whole arm covered in chatter. Maybe he could….yeah. Just this once. He scooped up a purple pen.

 _‘uh…hi?’_ He wrote. It was only a matter of seconds before red pen appeared across his skin.

_‘Pat dear, Is Patty in your pens again?’_

Then a pale blue _‘Nope! Patty’s with the smalls. Maybe Lo or his brother?”_

And a deeper blue. _‘Negative. Neither of us write in lowercase block.’_

Virgil cringed. He was so out of place. They all knew each other, and each others siblings and he knew nothing….and it was his choice. He had to apologize and get out as fast as possible.

 _‘i didn’t mean to be a bother, im sorry. I didn’t think anyone would notice. Imma go…’_ He scrawled quickly, before chucking the pen across the room. He wasn’t quick enough with the pulling of his sleve to miss the new text. He paused.

 _‘Wait….If this isn’t one of us then…’_ Reds loopy handwriting came into view.

 _‘A fourth? But…wouldn’t we have met them sooner?!’_ Pale blues confusion was almost tangible

_‘Maybe a fluke? A plausible mistake, yes? We are far to old to be developing another soulmate.’_

Virgil cringed. Yeah. He was a fluke. A fluke who really needed to talk to his Da-no. Thomas. Not his dad. Just a foster parent. One of the many. But still. He needed to tell someone before his skin boiled off and he curled up and died.

<><><> 

Thomas was never very hard to find. He was normally in his office. He knocked softly.

“C’mon in!” His voice was bright and cheery, as always

He made his way into the room, and plopped on the chair across from him. “Can….Can I ramble?”

“Always sweetpea.”

“I…I have a soulmate. Well…I think I have three. I never even wanted one in the first place, not after my parents. Not after Kate either, but I digress. I learned stuff about them today today. Prince, he writes in red pen. Pat who writes in pale blue, which is probably a marker, which I think is sweet- back to the point. And Lo who writes in dark blue pen. I looked. I didn’t mean to look because its easier to not have soulmates if you forget they are real but I looked and I felt so much love and I said hi and they think Im some sort of fluke. A mistake in the system. They all know eachother and there familys and I cant even blame them for not cluing me in seeing as I ignored there existance for years and I just…I want to know what to do..”

Thomas signed, setting his stack of papers down. “Virge…you’ve got a few choices here, and your not gonna like a few of them.”

He nodded, listening very intently.

“You could try again. You could reach out and explain. Or you could watch, learn, and evaluate, or you could go back to being a nobody to them. A fluke.”

“A fluke…I mean…I guess it could work…”

It took all of Thomas not to shake this child. Fate would find a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was f u n to write. Its alphabet soup. I will edit at some point (maybe) ((Probably not))  
> Leave me a comment if you wanna, I love them, or if your shy, leave me a kudo! Love ya'll boos!! See you next time!!


	5. Guys my age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh….if you read my other fic you know my anxiety has been b a d. if you dont....maybe look into it? (shameless self promo..)

Virgil made his way back up to his room, cracking a window and lighting a cigarret. He took a slow inhale before making a choice. He would be a fluke. He would stay out of there lives and watch from afar. There. Problem solved. Back to bed.

<><> 

Roman sighed, running his fingers over the deep purple text. He didn’t want to belive that there 4th was a _fluke_. Maybe he was just shy? Or…maybe he didn’t want them? Maybe they weren’t good enough-No! Bad brain. They where enough for everyone. Patton would weep if he heard such a thought. Speaking of…oh gosh he was late to his date with Patton! He shot up, grabbing his jacket and ran to the park just up the street. They where truly lucky. They had grown up together, and fought for eachother. Certain kids in his grade weren’t so lucky. There was the one who didn’t even have a soulmate. Poor thing was always getting beat up, and beating people up. And it would be far worse if his dad wasn’t the principal. He pulled himself to a stop at the front of the park, smiling when he saw his Heart and his Brain sitting on a nearby swingset. He snuck up behind them and pulled Patton into a hug from behing

“Boo!”

“Roman!” Patton smiled, putting his weight on his boyfriend.

“Hello my Heart, my Brain.” He smiled

“Greetings Roman”

<><><> 

Virgil grumbled, pulling his pillow over his head. Those bimbos from school seriously had to be so loud and happy right outside his window? They did enough of that as the power trio at school. Everyone either loved them, or didn’t know them. The second was hard to accomplish. Patton was everywhere, helping everyone and running student council. Logan had the top grades, and tutored failing students in his spare time (Virgil would know. His Bio teacher had tried to spring Logan on him.) And Roman was…well… Roman. He was a cheerleader/actor/singer trio that Virgil all but lothed. He really had no artistic talent. (He assumed.) And he was loud. (Fact) And extra. (Big fact.) He hated them. They where all so happy and gushy and soulmaty, because, of course they could get away with being a group of three. He just had to be the fuck up with a group of four. He just hoped that if by any slim to none chance that he met his soulmates, they where better then those three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the word barf, and the irony. Leave me a comment! Talk to me if you wanna. Yell about your government, or tell me about your day! If your shy, feel free to leave a kudo! Or...like...dont. Your call


	6. Why does that guy thing have to be so complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Owowowowowo

Time passed far to quickly for Virgils liking. Before he knew it, he was back in first period biology, getting scolded for another missing lesson. Its not like he didnt get the information, so why did she insist on fussing?

"You really should consider that tutoring lesson with Mr.Berry. He's proven to be super helpful for students in your situation."

He scoffed. "Kids in my  _situation_? You mean the orphans or the ones with discipline issues?"

She stuttered, looking completely shocked. "I- Virgil, that is not what I meant. Mr. Berry, would you come here please?"

"Yes Mrs. Peach, just give me a moment?"

Virgil huffed. This was gonna be a damn party, wasnt it?

"Just give it a chance? Im sure Mr.Sanders will be proud of the efforts."

He rolled his eyes, watching Logan walk towards the desk, arm covered in colorful soulmarks. Gross.

"Yes Mrs. Peach?" Logan stopped in front of the desk, keeping a significant distance between himself and Virgil.

"I assume you know Mr. Knight?"

"I do." Logan mumbled, clearly confused

Virgil sighed. "Yaknow I'm right here right? A human and shit, not a disease."

"Yes, Yes. Well, Mr. Berry, I was wondering if you'd be willing to set up a session with him?"

He looked almost shocked. "Is...is he willingly doing this?"

"Nah, but if I dont, she wont get off my ass."

"Language Mr. Knight!" Mrs. Peach flushed. "His grade needs some serious improvement. Maybe this will actually be a challenge for you, Logan."

"I doubt it, but I am sure we could find an appropriate time."

"I mean, I've got attention till like...the end of forever, so unless I can get a student council pass, I happen to be fucked."

"I... I may be able to assist you on that."

"Cool. This afternoon?"

"That will work. Would the west yard be suitable?"

"Sure. I'll see you there."

<><><> 

Once again, time passed far to quickly for Virgil, and he was on his way to meet Logan in the West yard, and he arrived far to quickly. Logan waved him over, and he plopped down.

"So lets have a look at last nights lesson. Do you have that with you?"

He nodded, rifling through his bag, and handing Logan a thick folder "Heres the semesters lessons."

"All of them?" Logan open the folder and looked at a few of the papers, pulling the oldest lesson out, and looking it over. "Virgil. You know all of these are correct, right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"How are you failing? You have a seemingly perfect understanding of the concept."

"I never turned them in. I did it differently from how they teach it, and would have lost points anyways." He mumbled, flushing with embarrassment. 

Logan sighed. "Virgil, even without lessons, with this understanding of the lessons, you could have atleast a C+. Even a B."

"I..." 

"Honestly you could be better then me if you wanted."

"I just dont feel like it."

“Feel like what?”

“Passing.”

“You don’t feel like…passing?”

“Sets every bar lower.”

“But what about collages?”

“Cant go. Why do you care anyway?”

“Well, I guess I don’t, but really. You could go to any school with this kind of knowledge.”

“I know. Mr. Sanders keeps a records of what my grades should be.”

“And?”

“All A’s.”

“You could seriously go anywhere!”

“Like I said. I cant go.”

He could feel the anxiety bubbling up, and he needed an immediate out, so he made the 100% best possible choice of kissing Logan. Yaknow, Logan of the power three, smartest kid he knew, and definitely not single Logan, then getting the fuck out of dodge. That totally wont get him into any trouble, right?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im like so flipping flipped to have gotten this out? It took me ages to write this, and my wifi cuts out in 12 minutes. Ma g I c babes. Leave me a comment pretty pleaseeee.


	7. Chapter 7

[upbeat country music playing in the distance as an extremely lethal gal wearing a gas mask and a cowboy hat tumbles down a set of stairs]


	8. Amnesia- Part one (Logan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter of this bullshit dudes, ladies, and non-binary daises. This one is from Logans pov!! (Also, shout out to my aunt who sorta kinda betaed this chapter, and let me bounce different wording off of her!)

Logan stood in utter shock. Had he just been kissed? By someone other then Roman or Patton, none the less?  Did this count as cheating? Oh god, had he just cheated on his soulmates? Fuck. Shit. Roman was going to be furious, and all Logan could do was prey that they fury wasn’t directed at him.

<><><> 

Logan continued to wait in the west yard, knowing full well his soulmates would plop down next to him, and help him work this (whatever _this_ was) out. Soon just happened to be far too quick for Logan’s liking. He found himself with Roman to his right, and Patton in his lap. In a matter, they realized that something was wrong. Perks of knowing each other for years, he guessed.

“Logan, my darling, talk to us? Whats going on in that big head of yours?” Roman shifted so that he was facing him full on.

“I…Well, you see, its quite hard to explain really. Especially in a non-distressing matter.”

“So, we will break it down. Together. Then work through it.”

“I guess it could suffice. But…I do not want you to be upset with me.”

“I won’t be, Microsoft nerd, but I need you to start from the top.”

“I…I guess I could begin now. I was assigned to tutor a student in my biology class, and he was clearly against the idea.”

Patton perked up.

“Yes, that is why I needed a pass from the student council.”

“So, you had to tutor a reluctant kid in biology? What happened then love?”

“Well…He handed me a folder of the semesters lessons.”

“Mhm. So, where they blank or something?

“That’s the thing! They where all fully completed. Using a fully scientific and professional method. And they where all correct. He didn’t turn them in because he was worried about losing points and setting the bar to high.”

“He…He wasn’t passing because he was worried about setting the bar to high?”

“Exactly.”

“What about a degree? Or his overall GPA?”

“He said he couldn’t go to college, and Mr. Sanders keeps a full record of his true grades.”

“Huh. Weird. So, whats bothering you? His lack of care?”

“I have not finished my story yet.”

“Oh, alright. Keep going love.”

“He…He began to get annoyed with me, or maybe the lessons? I’m not sure. So, he…well, it’s possible that I took this wrong, but he, um…”

“Sort of what love? Did he hurt you?”

“He kissed me.”

“He…kissed you?”

Logan nodded meekly.

“Well then. Does this he has a name?”

“Ye-yeah.” Logan began to figet. He could feel the anger coming off him in wanes, but at the very least he could tell, it wasn’t directed at him.

“Will you tell me what it is?”

“I…Only if you promise you will not hurt him. I don’t not belive he meant to be malicious.”

“I promise I will not hurt him.”

“His name is Virgil.”

“Virgil...Knight? The kid who has no soulmate?”

Logan nodded.

“Well, I guess him, and I need to have a quick chat. And Logan dear, don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t do anything wrong love.”

He nodded half-heartedly, but he couldn’t escape the sinking feeling in his stomach. He may not have done anything, but if Virgil hadn’t run, he would have kissed back. He would have kissed him again, even. And that…that scared him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patton was very absent in this chapter and im s o r r y. (On the topic of patton, how would you feel about Patton with selective mutism?) Also...hehe logan liked the k I s s babes. Leave me a comment if you wanna (Pretty please? This shit takes so much self confidence and I have n o n e ) or a kudo!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys I swear that there will be another chapter out in a few days but...

come down for dinner son it's just vegan cheese


	10. Amnesia- Part two (Roman)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this meme party! If yall can guess where last chapters little joke came from, I'll give you a shoutout. Now, onto the chapter! (Also, hint, its from a youtube video!)

Roman placed a gentle kiss to Logan’s temple before gently pushing himself off the bench.

“I should probably head out. Moms have been swamped with work, and someone needs to make sure they eat dinner.”

Patton nodded, smiling. Today had been harder than most for him, and Roman was immensely proud of the small response.

Logan pulled his arms around Patton and set his head in his hair before mumbling “Mhm. Editing season, right? And your Mama has that show soon?”

Roman smiled. “Yeah. Lots of shouting into pillows recently.”

“Give them my regards?”

“Will do.” Roman placed a kiss to Patton’s head before walking off. He loved them more then anything, and he knew it would take a lot of effort to not beat Virgil’s ass for kissing Logan. But he promised, so he walked home, knowing it would be a long night of conversation planning.

<><><> 

Roman arrived at school the next day, totally exhausted. Perfect conditions for a great civil conversation. Totally. All he had to do was avoid Virgil until the end of the day. But, as the universe would have it, that is not, at all, what happened.

 Whoever thought that ‘mix it up’ was a good choice was out of there god damned mind. Normally, being thrown into a group of strangers would have been cool. Fun, even! But, today was not any other day. He had been full split off from his soulmates, and, by some godless stroke of luck, he was sitting right across from Virgil. It took much of his self-restraint to not pull the book from his hands and demand answers. But he managed. And eventually, he was hit with a pang of guilt, seeing Virgil curl into himself as more people filtered in, causing the room to get louder. (And, if Roman had paid him any more attention, he would have noticed the almost shaking, and panicked breathing, but lunch was over before he got the chance.)

<><><> 

The end of the day came as a relief. He could finally get this over with. Finding Virgil wasn’t exactly difficult. The universe had been shoving him in Romans face all day. So, it was a simple (or not so simple, depending on how you look at it) case of approach and speak.

First, approach. He walked up to the unsuspecting teenager, wearing a casual smile.

Now, speak. Yeah! This was Romans area of expertise. He could do this.

“Hey Virgil.”

Virgil jumped back from his locker, looking just about ready to fight someone

“Woah! Calm down there JD-lightful. I just wanna have a quick chat.”

He sighed and shut his locker. “Sure. Fine. Get on with it.”

“So, I’m sure you know why I’m here.” He kept the casual smile, and the conversation light

“So, what if I do?”

“Well, I guess I can tell you. I’m here to talk to you about kissing my soulmate.”

“Oh. Him.”

“Yes. Logan. It really upset him.”

“Whoop.” Virgil crossed his arms.

“He doesn’t think you wanted to hurt him, but I figured we could have a chat. Yakow, just in case.”

Virgil shrugged. “He seemed pretty into it, so, yaknow, I didn’t think it was hurting him.”

Roman felt his anger bubble over. That was the last straw. For him to imply that Logan _liked_ it, was beyond fucked up. “He didn’t enjoy any of your twisted encounter.”

Virgil was gently fiddling with his sleeves. In his right mind, Roman would have noted the anxious tick, but through his anger, all he could see was a taunt. He grabbed Virgil’s wrist.

“What are you hiding? Its not like you have soul marks to cover up.”

“L-let me go!” Virgil attempted to pull away, but to no avail.

“No. You don’t just get to kiss my soulmate, and pretend he liked it with no repercussions!”

Virgil was starting to panic, and Roman made what would possibly be the worst and best choices of his life. He pulled up Virgil’s sleeve. For a moment it didn’t register. All the colorful writing. The familiar writing. But then it hit him. These weren’t any soul marks. They were _his_ soul marks. But…how? It couldn’t be…Virgil was the 4th? Did he know? Did he _care_? Virgil stumbled back, yanking his arm from Romans grip and before he got a chance to ask, he took off running. Roman took a few moments to compose himself, and as he walked away from the situation, one thing rang bright and true in his mind. Under absolutely no circumstances would Patton or Logan find out about Virgil being there 4th. It would crush them, and it was Romans job to keep them safe.

 

Roman placed a gentle kiss to Logan’s temple before gently pushing himself off the bench.

“I should probably head out. Moms have been swamped with work, and someone needs to make sure they eat dinner.”

Patton nodded, smiling. Today had been harder than most for him, and Roman was immensely proud of the small response.

Logan pulled his arms around Patton and set his head in his hair before mumbling “Mhm. Editing season, right? And your Mama has that show soon?”

Roman smiled. “Yeah. Lots of shouting into pillows recently.”

“Give them my regards?”

“Will do.” Roman placed a kiss to Patton’s head before walking off. He loved them more then anything, and he knew it would take a lot of effort to not beat Virgil’s ass for kissing Logan. But he promised, so he walked home, knowing it would be a long night of conversation planning.

<><><> 

Roman arrived at school the next day, totally exhausted. Perfect conditions for a great civil conversation. Totally. All he had to do was avoid Virgil until the end of the day. But, as the universe would have it, that is not, at all, what happened.

 Whoever thought that ‘mix it up’ was a good choice was out of there god damned mind. Normally, being thrown into a group of strangers would have been cool. Fun, even! But, today was not any other day. He had been full split off from his soulmates, and, by some godless stroke of luck, he was sitting right across from Virgil. It took much of his self-restraint to not pull the book from his hands and demand answers. But he managed. And eventually, he was hit with a pang of guilt, seeing Virgil curl into himself as more people filtered in, causing the room to get louder. (And, if Roman had paid him any more attention, he would have noticed the almost shaking, and panicked breathing, but lunch was over before he got the chance.)

<><><> 

The end of the day came as a relief. He could finally get this over with. Finding Virgil wasn’t exactly difficult. The universe had been shoving him in Romans face all day. So, it was a simple (or not so simple, depending on how you look at it) case of approach and speak.

First, approach. He walked up to the unsuspecting teenager, wearing a casual smile.

Now, speak. Yeah! This was Romans area of expertise. He could do this.

“Hey Virgil.”

Virgil jumped back from his locker, looking just about ready to fight someone

“Woah! Calm down there JD-lightful. I just wanna have a quick chat.”

He sighed and shut his locker. “Sure. Fine. Get on with it.”

“So, I’m sure you know why I’m here.” He kept the casual smile, and the conversation light

“So, what if I do?”

“Well, I guess I can tell you. I’m here to talk to you about kissing my soulmate.”

“Oh. Him.”

“Yes. Logan. It really upset him.”

“Whoop.” Virgil crossed his arms.

“He doesn’t think you wanted to hurt him, but I figured we could have a chat. Yakow, just in case.”

Virgil shrugged. “He seemed pretty into it, so, yaknow, I didn’t think it was hurting him.”

Roman felt his anger bubble over. That was the last straw. For him to imply that Logan _liked_ it, was beyond fucked up. “He didn’t enjoy any of your twisted encounter.”

Virgil was gently fiddling with his sleeves. In his right mind, Roman would have noted the anxious tick, but through his anger, all he could see was a taunt. He grabbed Virgil’s wrist.

“What are you hiding? Its not like you have soul marks to cover up.”

“L-let me go!” Virgil attempted to pull away, but to no avail.

“No. You don’t just get to kiss my soulmate, and pretend he liked it with no repercussions!”

Virgil was starting to panic, and Roman made what would possibly be the worst and best choices of his life. He pulled up Virgil’s sleeve. For a moment it didn’t register. All the colorful writing. The familiar writing. But then it hit him. These weren’t any soul marks. They were _his_ soul marks. But…how? It couldn’t be…Virgil was the 4th? Did he know? Did he _care_? Virgil stumbled back, yanking his arm from Romans grip and before he got a chance to ask, he took off running. Roman took a few moments to compose himself, and as he walked away from the situation, one thing rang bright and true in his mind. Under absolutely no circumstances would Patton or Logan find out about Virgil being there 4th. It would crush them, and it was Romans job to keep them safe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop, there it is! Yell at me about your feelings down in the comments yes? Or leave me a kudo to tell me "ouch, you hoe, that hurt my heart." (second hint! its from a super neat youtuber who has collapsed 4 whole lungs.)


	11. Chapter 11

Disney does not fear god- Girls Defined


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter then average today! Almost 600 words. (I know its not that long, but be nice to me.) Dont forget to read the end note! Point three is important

Virgil ran. It seemed he had always had a penchant for running, and that it was once again becoming a trend for him. He didn’t know where, exactly, he was running too, but by the time he got there, he knew it was probably the best place to be. So, he knocked. Three, hard, quick raps against the large wooden door, which where quickly responded to with a dogs loud boof, and the shuffling of feet. Moments later, the door swung open to show Hikaru, and Reginald Milos, Aka Remy.

“Hello?” Remy hadn’t looked at him yet, but it was more then likely due to the amount of light.

“Hey Rem.” Virgil mumbled

“Oh! Sugar, what are you doing here? I thought you had shacked up on the other end of the city?”

“I had. Ran. Ended up here.”

“Well, don’t just stand in the doorway like a dope. Come inside.” Remy stepped out of his way, and Virgil stepped inside, allowing the door to swing shut behind him. It took a moment, but the entranceway settled back into darkness. “So, you ran here. Care to tell me why?”

“Not particularly. Lights?”

“Seven paces to the left.”

“Duh. You’ve lived here for years. I was asking if I could turn them on.”

“Oh. Give me a sec then go for it. I’m not sure they work though. Haven’t replaced them since Saul and I where together.”

“Saul? Damn, that was like..”

“2 ½ years ago. Yeah.” There was a brief shuffling “Feel free to hit the lights now.”

So he did, flipping the switch. The lights flickered for a moment, before blacking back out.

“Damn. I’ll go out and buy you new bulbs sometime soon.”

“Sugar, why would I need them? I never turn the lights on anyhow.”

“It’s the thought. Reginald.”

“So it is. Now then, the last time you called my by my first name, you thought I had killed someone. Talk to me.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No, Remy.”

“C’mere.” Remy stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Virgil. That was all it took. Just that one hug, and he broke down sobbing. “Oh sweetpea.” He walked them into the living room, and slipped Virgil out of his hoodie, before throwing a soft blanket over his shoulders. “I’ve got you. Just let it out hun.”

So he did. He just sobbed, harsh, heavy, violent sobs. And Remy continued to cradle him, gently rocking him until they subsided. Which happened after some time.

“R-remy…”

“Yeah sugar?”

“ I messed up…bad…” He hiccuped, curling in on himself.

“Wanna talk ‘bout it?”

“I…I think…one of my soulmates saw my soulmarks. I…I kissed his boyfr-boyfriend a few days ago, and he came to ask me about it and…and-“ He felt his breath start to stutter.

“Big breath Virge. Its okay. Your okay. Your safe too.”

He took a few breaths. Remy was right. He was safe. So, he kept talking. “And he knows now. But…But I don’t want them. I never d-did! I’ll hurt them. Or myself! And..And now I cant go home, because they’ll tell everyone that I’m not some freak.”

“Virgil. You have to. You cant just leave another foster family high and dry.”

“But…I cant go back to the school. They…They’ll tear me apart.”

“I can work on that. But first, we gotta get you home.”

“I…Only if you’ll spend the night.”

“Sure thing sugar. Just know that I keep it strictly PG-13 with the minors.”

Virgil gently shoved him. “Ew, you gross fuck.”

Remy laughed.” You wound me.”

“Yeah, I can tell. So, very wounded.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I like to keep my authors notes light. SO we start with the fun stuff. Please read this throught. Feel free to drop a comment, and ill see yall in the next chapter
> 
> 1\. Remy is light sensitive! He wears the sun glasses to protect himself, and wasnt when he opened the door, hence the not looking up
> 
> 2\. Hikaru is the name of my Shiba baby. It means light, and I love him
> 
> 3\. This is a bit hard for me to type. Within the next few upcoming chapters(about one or two), Virgil will make some not so safe choices that will involve (but not be excluded to) giving out personal information on the internet, being blackmailed, stalking, and other not so light things as he goes on his journey to loving his soulmates. This bit of the story is strongly tied to personal trauma involving an internet based relationship (and the rise and fall of this relationship), some parts understated for my own health, and others dramatized, because this is fanfiction. Due to this, chapter may take longer to be published, and I may be a little more reluctant to respond to comments, but I promise to try my best, because I do love talking to yall. If you have any obligations or wanna chat with me about what might be coming up, feel free to let me know in the comments


	13. Hiatus

Hey yall, welcome to this wonderful Saturday. As you can probably tell by the chapter title, this story is going on a minor hiatus. I have some stuff going, and I need to take care of my mental health above all. I want to apologize to those of you who thought this was an update, but as for a time span, it could be a week, or a month or a year, I'm really not sure. I love yall, and Ill see you eventually!

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to hit me with a comment or, if your shy, just leave a kudo! Anything helps to inspire. Also, if you haven't already, feel free to check out my other fic, Loving you is my Only Weakness!


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